A Short Story About Defeat
Recently, a stranger started a Draw Something game with me, which is basically my favorite thing possible, right after someone I know or interknow starting a Draw Something game with me (Ahem: Username ManyManyWords). However, on my very first turn, I was given the above choices and I was paralyzed.
I always try to draw a three-coin word because I am VERY AMBITIOUS, but I knew that I could not draw Marine. What do they wear? White? Green? Aqua? I DON’T KNOW. Obviously, this meant that I had to draw the two coin word, but that word was “poop.” Can I draw poop? CAN I DRAW POOP? You’re damn straight I can, but I was completely inhibited by the thought of a stranger — a person had who had never even seen my very impressive rendering of Shaquille O’Neal as Kazaam with a basketball, or Mariah Carey’s twin babies — watching in real time as I drew a human butt. The stranger would wonder to him or herself, “Is that… is that a butt?” and then he or she would see me, virtually, as I used my finger to create a long brown line coiling into a pile, finishing off the drawing with the stink lines that would emanate thereof. I imagined the stranger closing the app and shaking his or her head, not even guessing, just assuming that I was the kind of fucked up person who used DrawSomething as a hand-made ChatRoutlette, drawing penises for “Metroid” and vivid, unwaxed vaginas for “Skrillex,” and I couldn’t bear it, so I drew a rainbow.